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Aaron Weingrad's avatar

This is well written and engaging. I don’t think it is actually that spicy insofar as no one is denigrated and made the sole cause of the dynamics you point out.

I’m Jewish. One of my closest friend as a high school kid in Philadelphian in the 1980s was a black kid where most of his cousins were into the whole black nationalism/Islam thing. Most had gone to jail and this was a source of self discipline and belonging from what I saw. They were all I to the white devil stuff but they were actually quite kind to me - at least when I was in front of them. Easier to be bigoted to an abstraction than a real person. It always struck me as a rather cobbled together set of beliefs. Lots of stuff in the hood was jury-rigged and kind of wonky so why not the religion and political leaders too. There was no elks club or rotary. The small business owners were few and far between and the businesses were very small indeed. My buddies mom was a pillar of the community and she owned a small laundromat. She was a great and sweet woman but she certainly didn’t have a lot of extra resources, time or administrative/business capacity to fulfill what one might want in a pillar of the community. My buddies dad was an addicted longshoreman generally not in the picture. So as a role model her greatest accomplishment was owning a rather ramshackle laundromat. Single mom. Getting pregnant by a guy who blew his $ on crack. A great heart. Loved her son like crazy and did her best to figure out something better for him. She was than most in the neighborhood but a lot of people would say her life wasn’t stable or something to aspire to.

So much of my buddies community and life was improvised. The history they taught each other was improvised. Work was random and not building towards any concrete goal. The community leaders were people who had a bit more but not too much to share or teach. Repairs to houses and businesses were improvised and never took anything up to where things had used to be. And a huge chunk of the folks in the neighborhood just wrecked stuff or got up to craziness.

One of my buddy’s cousins wanted him (a decent student who eventually got off to college for a year or two before he flamed out unable to handle the freedom without his mom riding his ass) to break into a police impound lot to break into his car which had been impounded to get the drugs he had left in the trunk of his car. Maybe don’t illegal park your registry expired car with your stash in the trunk. But also don’t try and bribe your little cousin into screwing his life up.

The system had definitely abandoned these people (most notably a guy got killed on my friend’s stoop and the cops didn’t bother to deal with the murder scene till the morning. Left him on their front steps for hours till they could get there.

That being said they were trying to solve an unsolvable problem. The criminals in the community were petty criminals. No Meyer Lanskys. Philly tried to ape the mob with the Junior Black Mafia but couldn’t even pull of criminality as well as the immigrants did. The problem was that the black community just didn’t have enough smart motivated people. The few that were there were dragged down. The women had no good men to choose from. The politics and religion was often similarly kind of stupid, thin, self-serving and wasn’t capable of leading to things like small business development and home ownership. It could get a few folks a storefront activism gig and make some locals into micro-celebrities as good talkers of this stuff on the corner. It didn’t offer a real center for finding a good spouse, telling you how to live a good life, how to raise a child, what you owe to your neighbors.

And if your culture is fundamentally screwed and you can’t acknowledge it then resentment, jealousy and wishful thinking will take root like crazy and make things worse.

My buddy failed out from a full ride scholarship he got at Duke. To this day I feel terribly guilty as me and my family helped him apply to colleges as we knew unlike his mother how to apply to schools and new a black kid in the 80s from the hood who had decent test scores could and did get a full boat scholarship. But he didn’t have the cultural capital to know how to party at college while making sure not to fail out.

His mom died after he was at school. He moved back to Philly after failing out. he has kids from different women and works construction and is always trying to borrow money he can’t pay back. We drifted apart.

This is super long but this is one bit of lived history between a black and Jewish kid. We really loved each other like brothers. Didn’t have a happy ending. His community was absolutely screwed up. Jews are one of the earliest minority that managed to make it at least materially once the world have them a decent chance.

I used to have to pretend to date one of his girlfriends in high school as her parents wouldn’t have been cool with a black boyfriend. Which seems terrible. But now as a father I think back to him and he started having sex when he was 13. He has children with multiple women. He was funny and charming. Also smoked a lot of weed and his dad was an addict. If I had a daughter this is not the kind of guy I’d want for her. You would have to hope that he transcended his background. That is really really difficult.

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Charlie Yu's avatar

It's funny how you mention the press attempting to act like this is a singular event, and then go on to write an essay about it. Anyone who's listened to your God's socialist series or knows their civil rights history has seen this play out before, but it seems like this is a subject that "polite society" would rather get swept under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. Thanks for having the balls to broach this subject Darryl, it's only going to get wilder from here and you're one of the few that has something nuanced to say about these topics

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